/

I fuckin’ suck at small talk, fam.

I just do.

I tend to never stay very close to the surface.

Somebody will start what they believe is a perfectly normal casual conversation and, before they know it, I have somehow dragged them into a psychological, philosophical, historical dissertation they absolutely did not sign up for.

I hear this phrase a lot:

“It’s not that deep.”

😐

To which some part of my brain immediately responds:

But what if it is though?

Conversations are kind of like dancing, right?

Two people moving together.

Reading each other.

Finding a rhythm.

A little give.

A little take.

Maybe a waltz.

I love watching a good waltz.

The problem is that while the person I’m talking to is doing the tango…

I have already started breakdancing.

Perfect example.

Normal social gathering.

Somebody casually asks:

“So, what do you do?”

Simple question.

Normal human beings apparently say things like:

“I’m a teacher.”

“I work in healthcare.”

“I’m an engineer.”

Not me.

My answer might be:

“I drop truth bombs and touch the souls of humans.”

😐

Them:

“Okay…”

Pause.

“I’m a teacher.”

Now we’re just standing there looking at each other like:

😶

😅

Conversation over.

Excellent work, Marcus.

Or somebody asks one of those fun icebreaker questions:

“If you wrote a memoir, what would the title be?”

Easy.

Caste(r) Oil.

Yes.

Spelled exactly like that.

Parentheses included.

Now, a reasonable person would simply say the title, let everybody laugh or ask a follow-up, and keep the game moving.

Absolutely not.

You asked the question.

You’re getting the TED Talk.

“See, ‘Caste’ refers to the American caste system and how social structures shape human identity…”

Already losing them.

“…but castor oil is traditionally associated with helping you relieve constipation…”

Now somebody is looking for the bathroom.

“…so metaphorically it’s about escaping the systems that trap us while helping people…”

Wait for it.

“…LET THE SHIT GO.”

You see?

You get it??

😃

Them:

😐

Me:

😅

Too deep, my boy.

Way too deep.

Sometimes it isn’t even heavy.

At least I don’t think it is.

Someone asks:

“What movie, TV, or book character are you most like?”

Inside my head:

Oh, I’m glad you asked.

“Easy. Alex Hitchens from Hitch.”

Simple enough.

But do I stop there?

Of course not.

“He carries himself like he has everything together, but he’s deeply scarred from being overweight when he was younger. He helps everybody around him figure out relationships and love while struggling to navigate those same things personally, which—”

You get the picture.

The other person asked for a character.

I gave them a character analysis.

With supporting evidence.

Probably would’ve brought a PowerPoint if given enough notice.

For a long time, I wondered whether this was just some strange Marcus thing.

Because most people I meet are perfectly content staying somewhere near the surface.

Nothing wrong with that either.

Sometimes people just want to talk about the Lakers.

Sometimes they want to know if you watched the show.

Sometimes:

“How was your weekend?”

actually means:

“How was your weekend?”

Not:

“What did your weekend reveal about the impermanence of time and the architecture of human fulfillment?”

Apparently.

But I’ve always wanted to know what’s underneath things.

People.

Ideas.

Institutions.

Art.

Behavior.

Myself.

Because one thing life keeps teaching me is that almost nothing is as simple as it first appears.

People especially.

Then I read a book called:

Get Honest or Die Lying: Why Small Talk Sucks

by Lenard McKelvey.

Better known as:

Charlamagne Tha God.

And immediately I thought:

FINALLY.

MY PEOPLE.

😂

The book forced me to examine myself in ways I wasn’t necessarily expecting.

Sometimes Charlamagne would hit me with something that felt GREAT for my ego.

Like:

/

YES!

EXACTLY!

SEE?!

It’s not me.

It’s them!

Everybody else needs to step their conversational game up.

Stop asking me basic questions if you don’t want dissertation-level answers.

Raise the bar!

Then Charlamagne would turn around and hit me with something like:

Oh.

😨

Hold on, bruh.

We were having a good time.

Why would you do this?

Now I have to ask myself:

Is all this “deepness” really curiosity?

Or is some percentage of it performance?

Do I genuinely want deeper conversations?

Or do I sometimes enjoy being the guy who says the unexpected thing?

Do I want connection?

Or attention?

😲

Damn, Charlamagne.

I was just reading a book.

Because apparently reading the book wasn’t enough for me.

Again:

I suck at staying on the surface.

So I dove all the way in.

I’ve read his books.

Listened to him for years on The Breakfast Club.

Watched Hell of a Week with Charlamagne Tha God.

Watched him sit for interviews on Fox News.

Watched him sit for interviews on CNN.

Where I’m from, that’s basically like hanging out with opposing gang members.

😂

I listen to him and Andrew Schulz on The Brilliant Idiots religiously.

I watched him host The Daily Show.

I read his graphic novel ILLuminati.

I’ve watched guest appearances and long-form conversations on other people’s shows and podcasts--like his guest spot on The Mel Robbins Podcast.

I’ve watched old Charlamagne.

I’ve watched newer Charlamagne.

I’ve paid attention to the evolution.

And somewhere along the way, I came to a conclusion:

This is probably somebody worth paying attention to.

Not because you should agree with everything he says.

I don’t.

Not because he is always right.

He isn’t.

But because you get this unusually public view of a person attempting to walk in his truth while that truth continues to evolve.

And that started changing how I looked at something else:

contradiction.

I know what some of you are thinking.

“Charlamagne?”

The guy who sniffed Jennifer Lopez’s chair after she got up?

That Charlamagne?

The guy who made Lil Mama cry?!

The guy who spent years making entire interviews uncomfortable?

The guy who didn’t put no “respek” on Birdman’s name??

🤣

I get it.

But fam:

“Iz you finished or iz you done?”

Can I speak?

🙋🏾‍♂️

Because those examples are actually part of my point.

People can get frozen inside the worst, craziest, dumbest, funniest or most viral thing they did fifteen years ago.

But people keep living after the clip ends.

They learn.

They fuck up again.

They change.

They contradict themselves.

They grow.

And the longer I watched Charlemagne’s evolution, the more something started making sense to me.

We throw around words like:

hypocrite.

contradictory.

fake.

As though contradiction is evidence somebody has failed at being human.

But what if contradiction is one of the clearest signs that somebody is human?

If every human being contradicts themselves somewhere…

then maybe the question isn’t:

“Are you contradictory?”

Maybe the question is:

“Are you honest enough to notice where?”

Damn.

I did it again.

We got deep.

My fault.

😂

This is what fascinates me about Charlamagne.

Not the contradictions individually.

The collection.

He contains multitudes.

He has an unmistakable New York radio voice and accent.

He is from Moncks Corner, South Carolina.

He gets his eyebrows groomed, has talked openly about cosmetic grooming and skin treatments, and gets his nails done.

He has also spent years roasting other men for beauty routines, cosmetic work and damn near anything else he finds funny.

He is a serious mental-health advocate.

He created the Mental Wealth Expo and has spent years using his platform to normalize therapy, anxiety, healing and mental-health conversations.

He will also roast Drake, athletes, rappers—and probably somebody standing five feet away—for expressing something vulnerable in a way he finds funny.

He is one of Kendrick Lamar’s most vocal supporters.

Then Kendrick dropped GNX and said:

Andrew Schulz publicly interpreted those bars as referring to Charlamagne and Alexx Media. Charlamagne’s response was basically: I don’t think he was talking about us.

He was.

Andrew’s response?

Fam…

Why won’t you acknowledge this man might be shooting at you too?

😂

That entire dynamic fascinates me.

He is Christian.

He has also discussed astrology, energy, healing crystals and other spiritual practices that don’t necessarily fit neatly inside somebody else’s definition of Christianity.

He has been extremely open about years of infidelity in his marriage.

He is also one of the loudest advocates for marriage, family and doing the work required to keep both.

He self-identifies as Hip Hop.

Yet even when rappers sit across from him, some of his most interesting conversations aren’t really about albums.

They’re about:

life.

trauma.

business.

growth.

fatherhood.

healing.

evolution.

He has joked that he “hates” Drake for being tall, light-skinned and successful.

He also clearly loves Drake for many of those same reasons.

He vocally speaks against colorism in the Black community.

He also has approximately eleven billion light-skinned jokes ready for DJ Envy at any given moment.

😂

People—including Dame Dash and assorted celebrities and internet commentators—have questioned his sexuality for years.

Instead of becoming defensive, Charlamagne will lean directly into it with:

“My whole body is queer-baiting…these hips and this ass!”

Fam.

😂

He founded the Black Effect Podcast Network, a platform explicitly built to amplify Black voices.

One of the longest-running creative partnerships of his life is with Andrew Schulz:

A certified white bro.

No disrespect intended.

I’m an Andrew Schulz fan. I saw a live show last year in Dallas. 

During the 2024 election, Charlamagne publicly backed Kamala Harris while also openly criticizing her campaign, Democratic priorities, and positions he disagreed with. Andrew Schulz, meanwhile, repeatedly defended Trump and MAGA positions on The Brilliant Idiots and Flagrant, interviewed Trump, and later confirmed that he voted for him.

They still kept making The Brilliant Idiots together.

They disagree.

Sometimes loudly.

Sometimes about things people treat like tribal identity.

And they keep talking.

And remain friends.

What a concept.

Charlamagne has said Black people should reconsider our relationship with the N-word.

Andrew’s response?

Charlamagne brings seriousness.

Andrew throws a banana peel into the conversation.

That balance is part of why the show works. 

Also, Charlamagne is rarely serious on The Brilliant Idiots himself.

Charlamagne can appear on Fox News criticizing ideas associated with conservatives, then turn around and criticize Democrats for obsessing over issues he thinks ordinary people do not care about. He has repeatedly rejected the idea that criticism of one political side automatically places him on the other.

And then there’s my favorite ideological identity crisis.

In 2026, during a conversation with Hasan Piker, Charlamagne said that if he had to put a label on himself, he’d call himself a Democratic Socialist.

Why?

Because he believes in capitalism…

but also believes society should have strong social programs to take care of people who need help.

Hasan immediately told him:

“Okay, so you’re like a Social Democrat.”

😂

Even the political label became a Charlamagne contradiction.

And honestly?

That exchange tells you more about him than the label ever could.

The man believes in capitalism.

The man recently signed a reported $200 million deal with iHeartMedia.

He owns businesses.

He builds companies.

He owns 51% of Black Effect.

He understands ownership, equity and capitalism very well.

And this same man consistently advocates for healthcare access, mental-health resources, social programs and investment in communities that have historically been underserved.

That’s not a neat box.

That’s a human being.

He writes bestselling books.

He is also a hilariously bad out-loud reader sometimes and will confidently butcher a word that has absolutely no business being butchered.

😂

He has openly discussed having a speech impediment.

He is also a Radio Hall of Famer and has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

The man literally built a legendary career…

talking.

Come on, fam.

That’s poetry.

He smokes trees.

He partnered with Wu-Tang Clan member Raekwon in the cannabis business.

He is also, apparently, the type of human being who will literally hug a tree.

Trees won both ways.

🌳😂

He built much of his original public identity as a shock jock.

Outlandish questions.

Wild statements.

Zero fear of making somebody uncomfortable.

Now, when I listen to him, I hear somebody constantly talking about:

peace.

growth.

therapy.

family.

accountability.

healing.

books.

wisdom.

And he’s a Girl Dad.

Like me.

That may be the greatest humanizer of all.

The universe gives a man enough ego to believe he understands life…

then gives him daughters.

😂

There’s one line from Get Honest or Die Lying that stayed with me more than almost anything else:

That shit sat with me.

Because somewhere along the way, I realized how much of life gets spent trying to maintain identities we didn’t consciously choose.

You’re supposed to be this.

You’re supposed to like that.

Someone with your background shouldn’t do this.

Men don’t do that.

Black men definitely don’t do that.

A person with your career should behave like this.

A father should look like that.

An intellectual shouldn’t say “nigga” this much.

😂

According to who?

In the words of J. Cole "Who tf iz you?!"

I love playing sports.

I often hate watching them.

I worked in juvenile corrections for eighteen years.

Deep down?

I’m a Theater Geek.

🎭

I spent much of my life being prepared to mentor and raise young men.

I worked with boys professionally.

I was born the oldest of four boys.

Clearly the universe was preparing me to raise sons.

The universe:

“Here are two daughters.”

😂

Thank you, Universe.

🙌🏾

Honestly I love my babies.

I can spend hours reading philosophy and then immediately watch Rush Hour for the 800th time.

I can talk about Nietzsche, Kendrick Lamar, ancient civilizations, artificial intelligence, parenting and why Golden Oreos are superior…

sometimes in the same conversation.

Knock it off--Golden Oreos are just better 🤷🏾‍♂️

I love science.

I love mythology.

I question almost everything.

I still find beauty in things I no longer literally believe.

I can be serious as hell.

I can also spend twenty minutes laughing at something unbelievably stupid.

I can build software.

Write essays.

Act.

Study history.

Talk Hip Hop.

Read philosophy.

Lift weights.

Watch cartoons with my babies.

Think about artificial intelligence.

Then spend ten minutes debating whether the blue Takis really taste better.

It's the Red Ones all day fam.

All of those things are me.

None of them cancel the others out.

For years, I think some part of me was asking:

What exactly am I supposed to be?

And maybe that was always the wrong question.

There are no bars.

There are no walls.

There is no ceiling.

Nobody handed me a rulebook saying:

Marcus must fit neatly inside this identity.

Maybe the freedom isn’t figuring out the perfect box.

Maybe the freedom is realizing:

There was never a box.

Charlamagne helped me understand that.

Not because I agree with everything he has ever said.

I don’t.

That isn’t the point.

The point is watching somebody evolve publicly enough—and honestly enough—to remind me that I’m allowed to evolve too.

Privately.

Publicly.

Loudly.

Quietly.

I’m allowed to change my mind.

I’m allowed to contradict an older version of myself.

I’m allowed to discover something tomorrow that changes something I believe today.

I’m allowed to be curious.

I’m allowed to be weird.

I’m allowed to go too deep.

I’m allowed to ask the unnecessary follow-up question.

I’m allowed to breakdance while everybody else is doing the tango.

And sometimes…

I’m allowed to shut the hell up and just enjoy the party.

Still working on that last one.

😂

Here's the crazy shit: you are allowed as well.

So since apparently I’m incapable of ending an article without making everybody else participate…

I have two questions:

If your life were a memoir, what would the title be?

And:

What book, TV or movie character are you most like?

I genuinely want to know.

Just be warned:

If your answer is interesting…

I’m probably asking follow-up questions.

Fam.

I will forever be curious. 💯😎

—Moody Maestro

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